Look, how many times do I have to tell you that I am not interested in having a “conversation?”

I get it. You spend a lot of time on the Internet and you get a kick out of stalking me across every social network that some idiot once sent me a link to.

Trust me, I understand.

I even get the fact that every night you find yourself trawling Twitter, spouting off about whatever new BETA product that you got invited to, searching for some fleeting sense of validation in the cold, uncaring text of your 10,000 followers.

The thought tugs at my heartstrings every night.

What I don’t understand is why me? No really, why? What made you think that I would care about the “Importance of Social Media for Business?” What made you believe that my life would be made better by hearing a play by play account of every, single event that you dragged yourself to for days at a time? Did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, I belong to the 99.998% of the population that just doesn’t care? Probably not, that’s a little tidbit of information that your Twitter Search probably left out.

Fine.

It looks like there is only one way to fix this problem and that’s cold Turkey. I want you to open up a few browser tabs, pull up my profiles and remove me from your friend list. No, it’s time for you to listen and I am being perfectly transparent about this, I want you gone from my life now and if you don’t start soon I am going to share a copy of my restraining order against you on my Google Reader.

Trust me, once it’s done it’ll be like we never met each other.

I mean, what do you care, after a few hundred friend adds you won’t even miss me.

Get your own Unfriend-o-gram before it’s too late